Improve Your Negotiation Skills By Discovering The 1 Thing That Separates The Men From The Boys In The Negotiation Game

There is one central idea, one important factor that is very important to understand.

Get this right and you will be compensated with profitable, enjoyable and long term business relationships in which price is not the only element. If you don't have this right, you will battle with sub optimal business relationships and you will likely end up bartering about price in probably all of your negotiations.

The one thing that matters most is understanding the interests of the other side in your negotiations; this is an important element taught in negotiation training.

Generally we have a good awareness of our own objectives, needs and desires. When we negotiate with others, we usually begin with trying to persuade them to see the world the way that we do. We think to ourselves that because it makes sense to us, surely it must make sense to everyone else. The problem with this stance is that it completely disregards the objectives, needs and desires of the other side.

What good is it trying to persuade someone to do anything that they don't trust would be in line with their objectives, beliefs and wishes?

You will not under any circumstances persuade anybody to agree with you by disagreeing with them, quite the opposite will happen. Because you tell someone that they are incorrect and you are the one that is right, you will force them to defend their position rather than agreeing with you. Nobody likes to be wrong and if you express to them that they are incorrect it will become very important for them to defend their position because their personal integrity is at risk.

Not often will you achieve agreement with anyone after you have told them that they are incorrect, you have also managed to paint yourself into a corner. If it was key for you to reach consensus and you loose the argument, then you will have to sacrifice your own integrity by departing from your 'correct' stance to accept the argument of your counterpart.

If you want to reach agreement the easy way rather than have your negotiations escalate into a positional argument, here's my suggestion:

Start by making some enquiries, the best of which you can ask will be questions designed to uncover the interests behind the positions that the other side have assumed in the negotiation. Open questions are the best kind of questions to reveal the interest or motivators that reinforce your counterpart's positions.

Here's a great question you can use and at the same time endorsing your negotiation skills: Why are you negotiating with me / my organisation?

This is very probably the best question to ask at the start of a negotiation. Follow this question by asking the other side to expand on and to rank the reasons offered in response to your questions. Then you will have a prioritised list of their most important interests.

Sample Interests:
- Individual: Security, Recognition and Control
- Organisation: Profit, Risk Avoidance and Strategic Fit (Some important factors you would have learned in purchasing training)

Once you have an awareness of your counterparts' key interests it is a good idea to reveal your own interests. Once all the parties to the negotiation have revealed their interests it will be much easier to recognise the areas of common ground and then it is useful to present your argument in the context of how it would meet their interests. This way, you will not have to persuade your counterpart that your argument is correct; you will only have to show that your suggested course of action would meet their interests.

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